Rose shows Hugo through the front door. Impressive material things are not seen (how different this makes her to Sandra). This abysmal place is quite intruding to Hugo’s perfect vision; in an almost embarrassingly feminine way planned this whole scenario out in his head.
They eat Chinese, its ok. Hugo amuses himself while he sits on Rose’s browny green, moss covered stone sofa. He must be careful not to spill any sweet and sour sauce, he wouldn’t want to spoil the décor.
Rose smoothly leads things into the bedroom (has she done this before?) they sit on the bed; it is covered in an array of bears, is this normal for an 18 year old?
Rose is very self conscious, Hugo is not surprised she is by no means perfect - beautiful definitely - but her body, breasts and stomach in particular, leave a lot to be desired. Rose switches off the lights, Hugo does not argue. He knows this will obscure his fat chest and stomach, not to mention his bad skin and average ‘equipment’.
He is hard. He rejoices silently to himself, sex is here. He will lose his virginity to a girl two years his senior, three in October. Hugo’s mind digresses, he imagines telling his friends, has he beaten Jack to it? He hopes so, that will mean he will be the second lad in the group to have lost it. It is this moment he hears the words:
“I can’t believe I’m naked in front of you.”
He laughs, he thinks he loves her despite her faults, then he realises he isn’t wearing an protection, cockily he mentions the contents of his wallet, she instead reaches for a box, out topples a condom. It’s hideously velvety touch excites him.
He is finally going to fuck; he reaches down to put it on. He is shaking now, he is turning red, he is fucking up!
“Don’t be nervous.” Her voices is tinged with a sickening twist of pity he has come to resent. He wants to fucking cry. “What’s wrong?” He has proved inadequate, Rose reaches down and feels the continually reducing mass of his enemy. Her response is so soothing: “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
Well done for being so fucking perceptive.
Hugo is furious and now sick. Embarrassment overwhelms him, his breathing is surprisingly sterterous. She has left the room, left him alone, first she patronises him further by telling him to put the condom, which has now been denied its destiny, in the bin not in his pocket. He curses himself and his inadequacies. Hope remains however, Rose is taking it well, sweetly reassuring him now the shock of the situation has softened. She drives him home and he is now falling in love with her. When he leaves her he proceeds to beat the shit out of everything in is room, focussing most of his attention on a punch bag, that usually lays dormant in the corner of his garage. When Hugo has calmed down, he texts Rose, he expresses that he believes he is beginning to love her. He thinks to himself that if their relationship can survive this, it can survive anything. But he is naïve. They won’t survive this, their relationship means very little to Rose, she breaks up with him through the very contemporary and torturing form of text.
Hugo now sits alone cursing, crying and lashing out at inanimate objects. Because that helps! Hugo now believes he is impotent, Hugo hopes he will be able to have sex one day, even if it with the help of Viagra. (Where does one purchase Viagra?)
Hugo now pleads silently that Rose will not tell anyone. He must be nice to her, despite his feelings he must always be nice. She could destroy him, subconsciously though he knows a part of him is already destroyed. He will never be honest about these events, better becoming a new person than facing the shame of public ridicule.
He starts again. A new school year, a new start and he finds it in the wrong person…….Angie.
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